Into the Mist

It is chill this morning and I recovered from two hard days of consumption. It catches up quickly for me these days: the accumulation and following release of pressure. In the good: I am officially the Bar Manager of the best bar between SF and PDX. I am the boss. It has to do with systems, approach, and a disdain for mediocrity.  I am also the shop manager and a TA. I am an artist and I am unraveling, slightly, the complex territory of my self-limiting belief systems.

Kicking into overdrive beast mode all I have left is the desire to be fucked good and hard against a wall. I am surrounded by flaccid dick. That's the thing about being an incorporated two legged human who inhabits more grey than black or white. I am terrifying to encounter on a human level.

I am learning that I don't feel as easily or well as many other people. Feelings are put into the unsafe zone-- from a cognitive behavior standpoint it's logical. Managing my emotions is a constant agreement with myself to be safe, secure, stable.

I love you, know that I am touching the resin of my being to build a starburst constellation