Passed my Knees

The
Oh sing of love

Heartbreak and longing

***

I rode down to 95448 this weekend. I closed the bar Friday and made it back to the studio by 4, was asleep nearing half six, moving by into the day by ten.

It was a have to trip, a reclaiming, a test of my determination. I stopped in Corning for fuel at this chevron that used to sell espresso coconut water (which is delicious if you ever come across it but a case, it's hard to find). Fueled up, took a piss, pounded a snack bar and a Starbucks protein coffee, tried to start the new bike.

***

Nothing. More nothing. Still fucking nothing. The bike clicks at me and the onboard computer spits out a code "EWS"

***

Panic sets in before my brain turns on. Phone google the owners manual is an online PDF

I should save this into my 128 gig iPhone.  Christ the bike is two weeks new; we're still courting and the bike is testing me, not giving up their name, playing pranks on the sides of the highway, refusing to start in Corning.

A lipstick candy apple red BMW is a real attention grabber and at 800 hp no fucking joke. Being broke down on Saturday just after five with a BMW is also no joke. There is an unspoken rule that all Beamer shops shutter at 5 on Saturday and don't reopen until 8 Tuesday. That's not until tomorrow morning.

***

I tell my panic to fuck off

***

Hawaii, I think suddenly, maybe Hawaii is open. Google call Hawaii BMW; they're out surfing; eff you Hawaii

***

Think brain

***

Google says every shop from SF to LA is closed. Fuck fuck fix this I can't be here not til Tuesday fuck

***

Out of the threads of my mind: Las Vegas

***

Ten minutes to spare and I get the mechanic on the line

***

EWS is an antenna, he says, it just fails sometimes, it's a safety thing so no one can steal your bike (electronic chip of linking the bike to the key or some BS). It's a DEATH WARRANT according to all the specs I'd read in the previous hour and I knew he wasn't being a dick.

****

Fuck that, I said, there has to be something I can do to override this system. Disconnect the battery or the computer, otherwise I am so fucked. (The Taco Bell across the street is starting to seem like a positive life choice and having stopped smoking cigs a I'm thinking Taco Bell and cigarettes in a hotel room: my kind of stray cat Saturday). 

****

His voice breaks into my mind, there is a chance your battery could be toast. If you can get to an auto parts shop and your hands on a multimeter you could test it. It should be at 12.1.

***

Looming behind the Taco Bell is an Autozone sign spinning lazy in the snagged out sunset. I hang up as he's trying to tell me about the next thing it could be if blah Blah blah battery failed because 

***

I strip the bikes skirt and test her box. She's reading at 10.4. My battery is dead. I buy a new one, pop it in, Martine starts up purring.

 

Dare Big & Dream Accordingly

I am simplifying. I square up the corners of life. Meaning two or more points converge to form a point. Examining the exterior, formal, edge of an object leads to an understanding of its physical nature. The interior represents the essence, the atomic, the unobservable potential expression. 

For art to be good it must inspire others to good action and demonstrate continued exploration of the social context in which art is created and exhibited.

The call to action is similar to Platos urgency that all true love ultimately leads to wisdom because it is a progressive and willing exploration of shared symbols. Semiotic introspection is galvanized when the formalized symbols which represent our conception of social identity fail to accurately disseminate our empirical observations. 

**--**

I've been sitting on secrets, holding slightly more back these days. I am calming my nerves with exercise and focused breathing; I stopped smoking.

I gave myself that for my birthday, having finally decided I appreciate my time on this planet to want to be here long enough to really fall in love