First that particular thread is, for the time being and in this format, put to bed.The attraction to a man who pays for pain remains a tangible recourse for inspiration. But, I will eek out the details on my own time and spare you the developmental subplot.
***
Exhaustion has taken hold of my daily life. I am pulling A's (of course) in all of my courses. I am taking 16 credit hours and working 22-24 hours each week. I have an almost 24 hour day on thursdays. I am losing the threads, it is thrilling.
I have patience and I know that there will come a moment of complete understanding. Instead, right now, I have transitive flashes of the past. I am back a year in my mind. I had so much hope, love, illusion enough to spare for everyone.
I just found a bus transfer from SF muni from October 13th 2013, it was a sunday.Strange, bizarre, haunting to have ghosts in mirrors, pockets, accept that shadows slip in and out of my consciousness.
A year. One. Less than one. I am pulling in comforts for winter, summer was both endless and extremely short. Wrapped in a haunted sweater, I sit an look over the valley as the sunrises. I have a coffee and my mind has a few webs of sleep. I have been dreaming of horses, women, and the forest.
No comments:
Post a Comment