pacing

I fought a good fight, and I won.

My financial-aid has been reinstated. Who knew I could find esteem in an envelope? Though interestingly enough, as of yesterday, I had
abandoned hope in either direction. I came to a place where I could no
longer see which outcome was better. Both were good; both were bad.
Being in this opportunity took time, the kind words of my family. I found a place of surrender outside of the structure of my day to day.

Most difficult part was continuing to attend my classes. Doing hours of homework amidst such uncertainty was exacerbating. Assuming that I would be awarded the aid,
I was diligent in my studies. Having received the news, I am glad I remained focused.
Irony could have prevailed: if I would have assumed failure; been
awarded aid; and ultimately failed because of falling behind early in the quarter.

The contentment that comes from letting go of any notion of the right,
good, best way, is enormous. There are six billion ways to make a bed.
I am relieved not to have to change my path, but had I, the adventure
would have been welcome.