lord, how do I love

The warmth of the sun radiates through the cedar wall and though I sit inside I feel its rays. 

today, these days, I better my heart. I struggle. I fight myself into submission. I avoid hot metal and booze and drugs that bend the truth.

supposing that love, simple love, opens locked boxes: what bones would be laid bare; would those places skeletons haunt in dusky half light, be swept and mopped and shine?

oh how I grow faint from desire

how i long for hot metal and booze and drugs which tell half truths.