my soul was stoned by flamingos

I am supposed to buy a dress. Not just any dress mind you. This is a special bride's maid dress. My brother is getting married; I get an amazing sister-in-law and an okay dress. Well, I would get a dress if a non-specified store (j-crew) had not discontinued that ephemeral Rosebud Pink dress, style Emma. Now, I will be the bride's maid in Cotton-Candy Jane. Which just goes to show me that I will ever remain the younger sister (who puts things off until the last minute, [the wedding is a month away.] However, I am scouring ebay; do you think I would fit a size 12?). Yep, the same younger sister who has nervous breakdowns at her big brother's graduations, forgets birthdays and thinks christmas is a holiday in early February.

I am taking solace in a bottle of Basil Hayden and the fact that I have the gift all but picked out.

august

for there are those around me who say the things I least expect

I am shocked and saddened by this week's events; I am afraid that we, as living breathing human beings, are watching the fabric of humanity unravel. When America was ripped lovingly from those who had inhabited it, we did our best to stand apart from the oppression of the British Empire. We did fabulous things: a postal system; a constitution; a tertiary form of government.

Goodbye constitution, goodbye postal service, and well I never really believed in checks and balances anyways.

I have begun to consider how the history books will look in 200 years. Will there even be books in 200 years?

akimbo

as I consider the necessity of sleep over the powerful comfort of delirium

I have just wakened to the fact that I sleep, a lot. It is not uncommon for me to go to bed around ten and stay there till seven. This is not just because I am a lazy good for nothing. I often cannot fall asleep or waken to restlessness during the night.

Naps are wonderful. I can nap for upwards of two hours. I nap in the car, on the couch, in the library. I wish my school had a napping room. But this means I am again lazy and unproductive. In trying to justify my ten hour sleeping habits I have come to the conclusion that I must be dying of an anemic disfunction, leukemia, or chronic fatigue syndrome. If I had a doctor, I might go see her. (I am a student; Blue Cross is for people with income.)

In the meantime, I will try to stay out of bed longer. I will stay up until half-past ten, and get up earlier. If I am utterly exhausted by the time I hit the pillow, likely I will not lapse into repetitive thoughts. Sleep is a vicious cycle of catch-up, it is also one of the last (besides sex) free pass times in America.

By sleeping, I am saving voluble resources. I am not driving or eating. (At least, not until I get my prescription to ambien filled.) These productive hours are better filled watching tv, or searching the internet for sites which present live action all the time.

Goodbye naps,nine hour nights,long lucid dreams, free pass-times. Hello productive me.