The little birds

The chill of night
Cracks as dawn pulls over the horizon
I pause a moment listen to the chorus of sparrows delight in the rising sun
I remember to feed the right wolf

Home Sick

Spending hours with a surprisingly gentle seven year old with an ear infection is teaching me a lot. First, watching Barbi cartoons is heart warming; second, this particular girl is growing her incredibly thick chestnut hair for locks-of-love; third, I have been told that with practice it's possible to perfect anything.

Perhaps, I've been listening to the wrong people. It's possible that with selfless love, practice, and a healthy dose of sunsets everything is perfect.

We also sorted through her homework, detangled those locks she's growing to donate,  and talked over the horse gossip from her riding academy (Duke broke out to visit Seven, really???). This helps me realize that we all encounter encouragement as long as our eyes are open.

The way home

I rely these days on my phone's predictive text to provide new interesting words. It's a surprisingly good system.

I work and am distracted by life. I watch other people and wonder how they manage all of it.

I am back to counting rations: time; joy; socks.

If I could lose myself in an eternity of sunsets, dance with fire, remember without regret I would

Landed

Sorrow beats through my heart as I make the bed up in my new residence.

However grateful I am to be here, warm, listening to the horse's nickers, I remain unnerved by the turmoil of this week. I recognize my fallacies, those familiar resolute factions that interrupt intentions.

What is left to be said remains unknown. I will start with stopping: no more running on sensory support; no more taking more than I give.

Even as the day's dust settles I remain human.

Backpack living

Things have been beyond interesting since Wednesday.  If I wanted to tell a long version I would go back months; however, finger dragging on my phone is tedious, so I'm sticking to now.

When my ex decided that I was plotting to leave him he kicked me out of his house. It was 1:30 and I don't have a vehicle. I managed to leave with my backpack strapped tight. Luck was with me and I was able to get my charger so my phone stays fed.

What little cash I had was spent on basic necessities: body care; service blacks for work; coffee, not for the caffeine but for a place to be and charge my phone.

Last night and the night before I slept at some friend's home. They live with their mother, have a futon, let me shower. I am in their debt.

Now it's today and I learn if I have a landing in a few hours. If the texts from my ex are correct he has thrown all of my belongs out.

I care because those things thatI collected over the years hold memories and comfort. But I collected them, they didn't collect me.

I have what wits are garnered from a long hard sleep and the fortitude of good spirits.

I am praying that my memories are safe and that calm can be restored.

Dollar store diva

I went to the dollar store and bought nail clippers, a hair and tooth brush then went out to groom. My hands,ragged and chapped,  improved with cleaning and filing my nails. I brushed my hair and pulled it into a pony tail.

I walked down to the goodwill and found a pair of cheap black shoes for work tomorrow. I bucked up and decided that a new black shirt was also in order.

Next on the list was the purchase of shampoo, conditioner, tooth powder. While at the market I realized just how hungry I'd become. I grabbed some fruit but then logic reminded me that protein is survival and I ordered a sandwich. Sitting outside I ate half, wrapped the remainder for later before going back in to use the washroom.
I cleaned my teeth.
When I've had sudden change offered into my life, what more can one do than care for immediate concerns. Cleanliness, nutrition, sunshine are all forms of salvation.
In need of a shower but little else, I wait out the remainder of the afternoon in a book.
Hopefully tomorrow brings me closer to a home.

Once more with gusto

I have been sunny days
And ached winter's song

Now in this strange bliss
I wonder just when I went wrong

I love you
Against the odds
Lost more than I bargained for
No chips left to play with
Every dollar spent

The odds I've set against the rail

Life in pieces

You will be there
A story
Told by victors
With no remorse

Longtime gone

Oh as I admit the fallacy of my lingering solitude I force the quiet to note my hollow yells.

The remains of my pride tattered