I got out of the shower and put on my favorite album. Then I lost my shit. Tears and water mingle over my naked body. I am exposed. I am naked. Sickness wells up in my throat. My mouth opens and loud noises come out. I am very very alone.
I am not really up for talking and yet I really really do not want to be alone. I look at sharp objects. I long for release. There is a guarantee in physical pain.
I leave my house as quickly as I can. It's raining and gray. I am crying and wearing gray: we match. I go to a salon and have my toenails painted metallic superman blue black cherries at the bottoms of my legs.
I wanted to pay someone to touch me. It's safe, secure, simple. It's also not alone. And alone is violent.
Shadow dance,
CSL <3ingly
No comments:
Post a Comment