I made a pretty big choice recently. No, not THAT choice, though I will be forever prochoice, a different big choice.I suppose you could even say that it's a pro-life choice; I chose to stop drinking booze. and beer. and wine. I am clean and despite my best intentions, sober by intent and with focus.
After eighteen too many hangovers, I decided to simplify. I've done this before, given my liver a chance to get back to working order. This time it feels different. This time I am looking alcohol in the nose and wondering if maybe it's not my jam.
As a bartender and social maven I spend a fair amount of time around booze and don't really feel the need to drink. But, drink I do, or, at this point, did. I couldn't take the stress. I was freaking out because I have dominion over this here, my short life and I want to make it taste like sunshine and the fresh wind and the salt licked off a lover's sweaty neck.
When things go my way, which is most of the time because I am flexible and willing to see from multiple perspectives, I have endless amounts of stamina. Shifting back towards my center, I realize how I allowed my mind to poison my direction. I allowed myself to be overwrought by emotions that had nothing to do with me. So I stopped. I want a simple life. Booze and hangovers and the stupefying degeneration of social conduct are complicated.
I have more time now: Time to clean, time to read, time to sleep with dreams. I don't know exactly where I am heading, but I feel more in my bones than I have in years.
My bones that hold me up, that support my every step, the hold my back straight, and my my shoulders flat; my bones which have never once broken support my curiosity and fuel my spirit.
From mine to yours,
CSL <3ingly nbsp="" p="">
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